Definitions

2008-09-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

O_O

4x100m Freestyle Relay, The

Unfortunately, mere words cannot express the EPIC WIN that defined this event. See Lezaked for the only avaliable answer that can be given without the internet imploding upon itself.

Alicia Tan \Uh-LEE-sha TAN\, noun:
US female gymnast Alicia Sacramone who lost points for her team by not only stepping out of bounds on floor exercise, but also by falling off on her balance beam routine almost as soon as she got on, leading to her being dubbed "Alicia Tan" or "She-Tan," although the later is also applied to swimmer Katie Hoff. However, this is debatable since (1) her failure was not as epic and calculations later proved that even with a good score, the Chinese fetuses, I mean, women, would have taken gold anyway and (2) in going with the "curse" theory, Tan's massive failure was such that it probably affected her performance, making it his fault. Synonyms: Tanramone. Also known as Soccermoney.

bb \bee-bee\, noun,
Internet slang for 'baby.' An affectionate, if not lazy, term of endearment.

Béla Károlyi \beh-lah ke-roll-ee\, noun
Béla is ONTD Olympics' zany uncle. Born in Romania, to an ethnic Hungarian family, Béla is probably most famous for being the coach of Nadia Comeneci and for being the coach of several of the members of the USA's 1996 Magnificent Seven women's gymnastics team, including Kerri Strug, who he carried to the podium to accept the team gold. After retiting from coaching, NBC hired Béla to be a guest commentator during the 2008 Beijing Olympics, including giving him his own mini-show, Ring the Béla. Béla's most memorable moment at the Beijing Olympics was while he was watching the women's all-around individual final. As Nastia Liukin performed her final event, floor exercise, Béla and Bob Costas were watching live. During the routine, Béla proceeded to cream his pants and pound the table, screaming "Vow...Vow..Yes!!! *shakes fist rapidly* She's an Olympic champion...She's an Olympic champion...She's an Olympic champion...Come on, girl, come on! COME ON! BEAUTIFUL!!! *assults Bob Costas* Beautiful!! Beautiful! JEAAAH! HAHA! Yes, yes, yes! She's an Olympic champion!! I'm tellin' you! I'm tellin' you! I'm tellin' you! Vooooooow! Wow, wow, wow! Great!"

Bob Costas - \bob kostas\, noun
The midget head NBC sportscaster with a ridiculous dye job and a hard-on for Michael Phelps. Also loves to banter with Mary Carillo and shake his head at Béla Károlyi's antics. Costas is so obsessed with everything that has to do with Phelps, and two weeks after the Olympics had ended, he stalked Phelps during the latter's gig on SNL.

China syndrome \chy-na sin-drome\, noun
China syndrome refers to the unfortunate condition that was affecting the judges, officials and commentators during the Olympics. This was in especially high concentrations in the gymnastics competitions, where lots of general fuckery occured in the women's event finals, when one of the Chinese gymnasts, Cheng Fei, landed on her knees on her second vault, but was still awarded a bronze medal. Similarly, Nastia Liukin lost out on a gold after she tied in the high bar final with one of the Chinese fetuses. Instead of using the old method where both gymnasts recieve gold, a tiebreaker program was created, and the fetus recieved gold. NBC's gymnastics commentators were also well known for their serious case of CS. Every time the Chinese team made a mistake, it was glossed over, and they were constantly praised as flawless and perfect, yet whenever the US or another team made an error, it was called "disastrous" and treated as if it were the end of the world, and amazing routines were degraded with the terms "good" and "nice." In a shocker, however, the commentators did vocally disagree with the uneven bar fiasco, calling Nastia's routine better.

Chinese Fetuses

Cream

Crying German, The \kry-ing ger-mahn\, noun
The affection nickname for German gymnast Fabian Hambüchen, who fell off the high bar during the team finals, and started bawling his precious baby eyes out.

Despatie \des-pah-tee\, verb
The act of stuffing socks, cucumbers, or tennis balls into your trousers to appear as having a huge bulge.

Drama Llamas

Failps

FFAO - \f-fow\
Free for All Olympics Post, the name of the daily posts set aside for people to discuss the Olympics on ONTD, it was the predecessor of the chats, and lasted from the opening ceremony to the closing ceremony. On several occassions, excessive posting in the chat caused LJ to momentarily fail, most memorably right after Jason Lezak's spectacular 4x100 freestyle relay save, the Phelps/Cavic race, and any time a controversy occured. There was usually an obligitory Lochte picspam, comments about Phelps being a butterface, and someone trying to start drama by saying they are probably the only person in the world not watching the Olympics. It is generally agreed that haters to the left, and FFAO gradually developed into ontd_olympics itself, which is generally devoid of haters and controversy.

Frenchies - \fren-chees\, noun
Garrett Weber-Gale's hilariously dismissive, un-PC, and passé term for the French men's 4x100 freestyle relay team during an interview with Andrea Kramer of NBC, in response to a question about Alain Bernard's comment that his team would "smash" the Americans. See also, Wererabbit.

Gay Divers \gai DYvurz\, noun
The nickname of US men's syncro divers David Boudia and Thomas Finchum. They got bronze in the 2007 Melbourne World Championships, and gold in the 2007 Pan American games. They didn't medal in Beijing, but that didn't stop everyone from squeeing over how adorable they were. Gay Diver as a singular term can be applied to either Finchum or Boudia, but alternately, to Matthew Mitcham, who is not only the only openly gay diver in the Olympics, but the only openly gay male in the Beijing Olympics.

Going Swimming in the River
An celebratory act performed after the completion of a task thoguht to be unfinishable. The phrase is derived from US gymnast Jonathan Horton, who expressed his intention to do so after the men's team won the bronze medal against all odds.

Grills \grillz\, noun:
In hip hop culture, a grill (also front or golds) is a type of jewelry worn over the teeth. Grills are made of metal and are generally removable. They began to be worn by hip hop artists in the early 1980s, but they became widely popular during the mid-2000s due to the rise of Dirty South rap. Grills can cost anywhere from fifty dollars to thousands of dollars, depending on the materials used and the number of teeth covered. Grills are most often worn by 18- to 35-year-old urban male hip-hop listeners. However, grills are worn by both men and women of all races, at least to some extent, as well as by celebrities far from hip-hop culture like Johnny Depp and Travis Barker of Blink-182.

The term "grill" became associated with the Beijing Olympics thanks to US swimmer Ryan Lochte. Lochte first sported his grills during the medal ceremony for the 2007 Melbourne World Championships, and he frequently talks about how much he loves his grill. Unfortunately for Lochte, but fortunate for a lucky fan, he lost his grill while out partying in Beijing. We can only hope that the lucky finder is an expert at DNA cloning...

Guo \GWO\, noun:
A person whose presence overshadows everyone else's, after Chinese women's diver Guo Jingjing, who dominated the diving board, not only in Beijing, but four years prior in Athens.

Hamm \HAUM\, verb:
To tan in a way that leads others to greatness. Example: Paul, the smartest kid in the class, totally hammed that test, improving the grade curve for the rest of us.

HBIC - See Nastia.

Insane Bolt \in-SANE bowlt\, noun:
Nickname for Jamaican runner Usain Bolt, who is now the fastest man in the world.

Jake \jayk\, noun:
Michael Phelps' number one fan.

Jeah \gyeah\, interjection:
An exclamation first popularized in rap music and introduced into the swimming community - and thereafter the Olympics and sports in general - community by Ryan Lochte. The world punctuates many (if not all) of Lochte's SwimRoom blog. It is rumored that he and Michael Phelps send each other daily texts with "Young Jeezy says, 'Jeah!'" or simply "Jeah!"

Jeahmaica

Jeahmerica

Jells \gelz\, noun
The epic pairing of Joey Hagerty and Chellsie Memmel. The accumulation of photographic evidence and thorough analysis led to the conclusion that the two are romantically linked. Neither acknowledge or admit to their cute relationship, but we all know the truth.

Lezaked \lee-zakt\, verb
To go against the odds and come back from behind and totally kick someone's ass at something. Especially if they've been talking shit about you.

Makes My Taco Pop

Morgan Freeman \mor-gan free-man\
Morgan, also known as God, is ONTD Olympics' maternal grandfather.

Nasha

Nastia \nas-tee-ya\, noun
The actual nickname for US women's gymnast Anastasia Liukin, also known as Miss Liukin If You're Nastia. She is the 2008 Olympic All-Around Champion and though many call her a bitch face, she is just naturally fierce. Her DNA is made of uneven bars and hoops, as her parents were both gymnasts. Her dad, Valeri (see also: DILF) was an Olympic gymnast, winning four medals; and her mom, Anna, was a former rhythmic gymnast. Nastia was the victim of during the high bar final, when she tied with one of the Chinese Fetuses but was awarded second because of some fuckery with the tiebreaker system. Nastia kept her composure, even though it was obvious she wanted to shank the girl.

NBC \en-bee-cee\, noun
Stands for National Broadcast Company, NBC has been providing Americans with Olympics coverage for over 9,000 years. NBC has a monopoly on the Olympics and doesn't share with other networks, even though they mislead you when they allow things on MSNBC , but we all know their gameplan. NBC only plays "interesting" sports during primetime, ie gymnastics and swimming. Occassionally, we get gems like diving and track, but half the time, the announcers are fapping over something Michael Phelps did. NBC is also expert at mind control and making people do things they would otherwise never do. We will watch Bob Costas, swimming and beach volleyball and we will like it. We will download Silverlight, but at least Silverlight will allow us to watch the Blessed Badminton, Fencing, Archery and Table Tennis. We will accept Michael Phelps as our Lord and Savior. We will pray for Bela to knock Bob Costas out. We will wonder how women's beach volleyball coverage avoids FCC fines. We will not watch anything live in prime time if we live in California.

Old Guy \owld gai\, noun:
The nickname for US gymnast Joey Hagerty. He is not the oldest member on the team but physically looks the oldest, and is also the least memorable (Shit Talker talked shit, Sasha rocked pommel, Prince owned high bar, Raj is the Indian guy, and Tan, well, tanned) thus earning him the nickname "Old Guy." He tends to be creepy (although not as creepy as Sasha) including waving his bloody cut hand at the camera during team finals. Old Guy also has urban tendencies such as saying phrases like, "That's how we roll!" as well as imitating the awesomeness of his teammates, especially Shit Talker.

Phelpsian Pheat \felp-see-yan\, adjective
To accomplish something that seems almost impossible, with an occassional helping hand from your friends. Coined from the surname of US swimmer Michael Phelps, who was set to make history in Beijing if he could win 8 gold medals in all 8 of the events he qualified for. Not only did he do this, but 3 of his races were also incredibly epic moments where the "Will he, won't he?" was on the line, notably the 4x100m freestyle relay, the .01 win against Milorad Cavic, and the final race, 4x100 medley relay, where Jason Lezak once again saved Phelps' ass while simultaneously giving the entire USA yet ANOTHER heart attack.

Picspam \pik-spam\, noun
A post on ontd_olympics centered around posting pictures of a specific Olympic athlete or athletes. Reasons for picspams can include:
1. Seeking to improve your mood or the mood of a fellow community member (men in Speedos are all you need to turn that frown upside-down!)
2. A desire to share the results of your latest facebook stalking with the rest of your bbs.
3. Today ends in "y."

Phlochte \flok-tee\, noun
An affectionate contraction of US swimmers and bffs, Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte (in the tradition of TomKat, Bennifer, etc) in reference to the aforementioned Olympians' undeniable OTP status. No matter how much they deny it--blaming the media for "sensationalizing" the friendship-- we know better. And there are photos to prove it. Also known as Freezy.

Pop Off

Prince \prins\, noun:
The nickname for US gymnast Justin Spring. This is due to his remarkably uncanny resemblance to Prince Harry of Wales. Prince is often compared either to Harry specificially, or as the combination of both Harry and his older brother William. Regardless, Justin Spring is considered the hottest out of all three of them, and is not only much better looking than the real Prince Harry, but also much better behaved, considering that Spring has never been (as far as we know) caught with drugs or wearing a Nazi costume. Despite the fact that Justin Spring is not third in line to any throne, he is first in the hearts of many female fans, although everyone knows that the first in his heart is his bb, Sasha.

Racewalking

Reezy \re-zee\, noun
US swimmer Ryan Lochte's rapper name/alter ego/nickname among ontd_olympics folk; a contraction of Ryan and Weezy aka Li'l Wayne, who is notoriously Ryan Lochte's favourite person of all time (Lochte named his dog after Weezy and describes his perfect day to be spent at Louisiana, chilling with Lil Wayne's crew-- enough said.) The moniker has since spawned its own thriving LJ community: Reezy Daily.

Sasha \sah-sha\, noun
The actual nickname for US men's gymnast Alexander Artemev, who was born in the Soviet Union, where the nickname for Alexander is Sasha. Some people seem to want to Americanize him and try to call him Alex, but they're doin it wrong. He is also incorrectly called a Russian, when in fact, he was born in Belarus. Sasha is best known for his epic win on pommel (after Kevin Tan's tanning of it) in the team finals, which helped clinch the bronze for the men's team. Sasha is also known for his large eyes that bore into your soul. See also: O_O

Shawn John \shawn jawhn\, noun
Nickname for US women's gymnast Shawn Johnson, usually coupled with 'bb' to create the affectionate moniker 'bb Shawn John' because she has a cute little baby face.

She-Tan \shee-tan\, noun
Nickname for US swimmer Katie Hoff, who frequently tanned during the swim finals. Despite a normally good record and medal haul in previous competitions, Katie only managed three medals (a silver and two bronzes) during the Olympics. Twice, she placed 4th, just out of the medal running. The term She-Tan may also be applied to gymnast Alicia Sacramone (see Alicia Tan)

Shit-Talker \SHIT tawk-er\, noun:
The nickname for US gymnast Jonathan Horton, who became infamous after the US gymnastics team won their bronze medal. When the camera was on him, he would talk about "going swimming in the river," and "USA, baby! Never give up, never surrender!" and "That's the best I can do." This occurs usually after he finishes a routine, receiving his score, or after a teammate finishes their routine or receives a score. At times, it is possible to hear Shit Talker talking shit in the background audio even when the camera is not focused on him.

Soccermoney \sokermuny\, noun:
See also: Alicia Tan. A horrible mispelling of Alicia Sacramone's surname, spawned by a post at a gymnastics forum:

i am officially discusting at these rresults after olympic in CHINA!!!the greatest and most beautifulis gymnast ANNA PAVLOVVA DESERVED THE GOLD!!!!!!!!!! SHE IS BEST AND JUDGES WILL PAY FOR THEIR FAVOR OF THE baby chinese who are small like rabbit and the Nasdia Lukin who has bitchface condition!!! NOOO!!!!!!!!!11

ALLSO!!!! i am sad for the american Soccermoney who is strong and deserved medal over big bad chinese who FALLLL on VAULT!!! FALL ON HER buttucks HARD!!!!! soccremoney who is strong deserved this medal not like Nasthia Luukin who has pointy face condition and need medcical help. BUT PALVOLA DESERVED GOLD MEDAL WITH TEN VAULT!!!! TEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am discusted with this result and willl complain to the old Grandi for his stupid and for BAD JUDGES and for allowing the baby chinese who are small like rabbit and for giving PALvola the zero vault and for giving favor to big chinese who FALLLL ON HER BUTTOTCKS!!!! PAVLOVA DESERVED PERFECT TEN AND PERFECT BTUTOCCKS!!!!!

Snuggz

Tan - \TAN\, verb:
The act of messing up in a big way; failure; the name of a supposed curse spawned by US gymnast Kevin Tan, whose failure on the pommel horse was so massive it plagued other athletes. See also, Tan curse.

Tanada - \TAN-ada\, noun:
Nickname for Canada, who was, for much of the Beijing Games, one of the few developed nations without a single medal to their name. There is some debate as to whether or not this is appropriate as they were failing before Kevin Tan's major screw up. Some even go so far as to suggest it that Canada's failure is more massive than Kevin Tan's, since no man can fail harder than an entire country, and that perhaps, the curse is really the fault of Canada, and not one Kevin Tan. This is unlikely for sevearl reasons: (1) Canada's fail is self-containing (2) Canada's fail is temporary, as it's accepted that they will own the planet at the Winter Olympics (3) If one man can win harder than an entire country (ie Michael Phelps) than one man can fail harder and (4) Canada ended the Games with 18 medals, which is more than a certain Mr. Tan can claim.

Tancock - \TAN-kok\, noun:
British swimmer Liam Tancock, who usually placed last or close to last in every event he participated in. This is most likely due to the fact that due to his name containing Tan, he was doubly affected by the Tan curse, much moreso than other athletes.

Tan curse - \TAN kurse\, noun:
Believed to have been caused by Kevin Tan's epic fail, so epic in fact that it is thought to have settled like a cloud over the Beijing Olympics. Some people went unaffected, and it's suspected that this is due to rubbing themselves against Michael Phelps in order to remove the fail they've been stained with.

Tanzil - \TAN-zill\, noun:
Nickname for Brazil, who suffered badly in gymnastics during the event finals for men's and women's floor exercise. During the men's final, Diego Hypólito stepped out of bounds on his routine. Later in the evening, while performing what was a dazzling routine, Daiane dos Santos stepped out of bounds not once but twice. Another Brazilian, Jade Barbosa, also tanned heavily during the vault finals that same day.

Tater Tots \tay-ter tots\, noun

Tater Tots \tay-ter tots\, noun
An endearing nickname for the dynamic duo of Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson, Olympic medalists, teammates, rivals and best friends. The name originates from an interview in which Shawn mispronounced the word "representatives" as "representators" in the most adorable manner possible.

Tim Daggett - \TIM dag-IT\, noun:
One of NBC's commentators for gymnastics, Tim believes himself to be far superior to everyone in the sport because he contributed a perfect 10 to the gold winning 1984 men's team, and also got a bronze on pommel horse. Thus, he believes himself to be the premier authority on all things gymnastics, and frequently criticizes everything that the US does, while fapping over everything that the Chinese gymnasts do. He often points out the most minute errors in the US gymnasts' routines, forgetting that in the 1987 World Championships, he tanned so badly on his vault that he had to drop out of the Olympic Trials the following year due to his injuries. With a face that not even his mother could love, Tim is very cocky, and his official website claims that he is a "professional speaker with tremendous impact and experience from around the world." I smell BS.

Tom Daley - \TOM day-lee\, noun
Alternatively known as Jailbait, Daley is a 14 year old British diver responsible for sending 90% of international viewers to prison. Most people assume that because the minimum age for gymnastics is 16, this is true across all Olympic sports. Not so. Daley is the youngest Olympian to compete in the 2008 Beijing Games, and is one of the youngest British athletes ever to compete ever. And yes, you are going to jail for looking at that picture.

Wererabbit - \wErr rabit\, noun
Nickname for French swimmer Alain Bernard, whose unfortunate looks led to the nickname. Bernard is perhaps most famous for running his mouth prior to the 4x100m relay, saying "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here for." To the delight of everyone in the universe, Jason Lezak overtook Bernard right near the end of the race, clinching gold for the US, and leaving the French staring open-mouthed at the scoreboard. Despite his unfortunate face and trash talking mouth, Bernard seems to be a very affectionate man, which was apparent after he was beaten by Brazilian César Cielo Filho. Bernard and teammate Amaury Leveaux almost raped Cielo Filho on international television, their affection was so intense. Synonyms: Bunnicula, Berny Rabbit. See also: Frenchies.

Woof Woof

World According to Ryan Lochte, The, noun
An NBC Olympic segment that is now regarded as the go-to video for Ryan Lochte fans. The clip gives a glimpse into the world of US swimmer Ryan Lochte and not only reveals that Lochte, as a child, would rather throw rocks at something than play tag but also reiterates his love of grills. It also tells a place where clouds are upside down, raindrops fall that turn into fish which turns into a comet that shoots out of an egg which is like a world and it just gets crazy like that.

Credits

2008-08-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

Bob Costas, Frenchies - amkf

Alicia Tan, Tan, Tanada, Tan curse - cookie_nut

Guo, Hamm - de_wood

Tater tots, Jells - eatinslutfast

Old Guy, Shit Talker - labellereine

Phelpsian, Picspam, Snuggz - peppervegas

Reezy, Phlochte - razor2rozary

Despatie - sexy_cheetah

NBC - the_merf

Picspam, Going Swimming in the River, 4x100 Meter Relay - wickedcooljul

ONTD Olympics Dictionary

Definitions

Credits